I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
