just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
