what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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