I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize