I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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