Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
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