why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
