Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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