im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i now understand why vodka
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
