He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
