Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize