Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
