I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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