he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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