There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we're making bets on your personal life
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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