So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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