Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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