I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
