In the future we'll all be gay
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
