I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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