Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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