Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
