Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
