If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
