he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
