We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She bit a glass in half.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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