i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am mentally ready for anal.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
