do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
A bitchslap is in order.
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