is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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