i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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