I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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