I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
