DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
