I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize