I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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