I feel like abortions should bother me more
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize