So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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