You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
