I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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