you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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