If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
