I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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