We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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