why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There r osticjed everywhere
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
