Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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