so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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