i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
