so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No...this little piggys going to the bar
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
