wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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