I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He passed out mid-signature
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
