i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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