She announced her abortion via fbk
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
