yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Success! We fucked roommates!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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