I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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