my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
