I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
