I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
