New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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