I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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